Note: this is the second of a three part post. Part One: Reflections on Retirement: Out of the Christian Bubble is here. Part Three, From the Personal to the Public, the UMC Disaster, is here.
So this smart, successful and opinionated Polish/Catholic/Jew and I stand on opposite ends of the political divide. Hardly the only difference between us, but certainly a major one.
And we argue a lot about this. Except . . . he refuses to call our grenade-lobbying interchanges “arguments” and says we are having “discussions.” Of course, we also argued about the difference between argument and discussion. I finally yielded to his definitions.
Why? Well, not because either of us has changed our minds about anything. Not gonna happen. But what has happened is that we each have a growing respect for the point of view of the other.
I now understand why this man, whom I have previously would have described in a sneering voice as a “rich, white, Republican male” and the source of all that is wrong in our society, holds the views he does. I don’t agree with them, and work hard at encouraging him to see better the privilege that helped his success. I also now know none of this came easily or was handed to him.
He made mistakes–big ones. And took responsibility for each of them. With a full-time job, wife and baby, night school became his only recourse for earning his degree in industrial engineering. He has never not worked very, very hard. He still does, running several companies even now, and with an energy level that leaves me awed.
There is no question that he had privilege–a family that made sure he was well educated through high-school and who modeled faithfulness and hard work. Then there is the simple fact of being white, working his way through a system that still carries much prejudice, often subtly hidden, against people of color.
And now, he has said, “I want you to come into my Sapphire bubble.” He was referring to the Sapphire crystal on his watch, which alone would equal a good portion of my net worth.
But I don’t want “bubble” living again. More than that, I’m coming to the conclusion that such a decision to isolate ourselves from the radically different opinions of others forms the core of the multiple disagreements church people and denominations face.
I think about these argument/discussions the two of us have over so many topics. Again, neither of us has budged one bit on our points of view. BUT, we have both come to realize the legitimacy of the decisions reached by the other. We have solidified our own positions because we’ve listened carefully and with respect to the reasoning behind the position of the other.
Part One: Reflections One Year Post Retirement: Out of the Christian Bubble
Part Three: From the Personal to the Public, the UMC disaster
